“Yeah, going on river cruises with my life.
Purple t-shirt on that advertises the cruising brand. Don’t know why it’s purple, must be something in my mind. Then one customer asks you what time you expected to arrive. And maybe they not happy for some other reason in their life — the question cuts a little. Does it matter much? I don’t know. How much would that happen? One customer is pretty nice, the next it’s like you’re back on the plantation. It’s not the writer’s life. But I could write about it, though.
I can switch it on and off that writer thing, you know? You think I’m not the type? I can use big words. I know more now than I used to. River cruises though. The route would get the same. The first few times you’re like ‘this is nice’; but soon it’s that same boat that’s moored too close up at the side, that bridge, that same hard plastic chair you sit on just to get away from that one guy who’s supervising. Nah. That’s not the life. You think a writer’s born or made? I mean someone like me is obviously no writer. But wait. You seen anything I written though? It’s not the way I speak. That’s just your prejudice. It’s surprising just how many people make that same mistake. Your class is strapped to you from birth. It’s on your tongue, they say. I’m not a writer. But you ought to read just what I wrote before you make up your mind. That’s like that Make Police. And why people say they don’t exist. Cos those like me aren’t ever going places. So it must be that I haven’t got any sense. I try. It’s fantasy but I still get my notepads out every night — and day. Cos there’s no river cruises at the moment. It’s just that fantasy. Would a writer really be this way? That’s the question. Could I ever be a writer? I do go on about it though. What does that mean? I’d rather go on about a river cruise. Maybe if I was the captain, that would be okay. Sitting at the wheel or whatever it is, avoiding things like the plague. That’s not a writerly thing to say. Even captain’s on the same route every day. And his word’s final but not everybody likes it and it’s up to him who’s fired and that’s not always easy — that’s someone else’s life! Some captains better than others at that sort of thing. Some just — well, not nice. The bridge is still in that same place, whether you the captain or the deckboy — let’s call him that (that wasn’t on the job description). River guide, that’s it. You would be giving people information. That might be fine. Same information after a while but let’s not say anything about that though — that’s covered. The monotony. The slow persistence of the ship’s monotony. That’s more writerly. Make Police might like that one. It’s not a ship either, though, is it? It’s a boat. And what’s the difference? Would you have to know? You’d get to know. You’d start to be a boaty type of person. People would go to you for boaty types of things — whatever they might be. But they’d associate you with boats. And you’d associate yourself with boats. That would be your life. It might just be a summer job, but it’s always with you. Where was I? Oh, just the general fantasy of jobs you might or might not like. Your mind does wander.”